- It’s Friday the night of the best concert of all times in the radial distance of the 20 miles surrounding the suck fest that is this recumbent desolation of shit in which I reside (I love it here) and I am at home with the kids watching bad Netflix movies and being sober forever. Use a condom guys.
- I love that even though this stuff sucks my kids are 100% on board with making me laugh still. “Mom does this bag of funyuns I’m holding make me look neglected?” No. But give it 5 years and they might once again question my parenting.
- My underwire popped out of my bra this evening and poked me right in the tit-ison, that’s tit meat that used to playing games, which means I got to second base with myself so today wasn’t a total wash.
- My kids got in the car today and all remarked at how nice I looked in my real clothes and were curious if I got a new shirt. Nope. Just got sick of my appearance being used to judge what kind of parent I am so say hello to the mom who wears jeans and conservative boots to pick you up from school now.
- Might even drive by the school tomorrow and drop them off just so they see how serious I am about having them at school EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
- The good news is I have low carb salmon dip to celebrate my new found sobriety and stay at home every second mom status so I’m gonna go eat some of that and after the kids go to bed I’ll bust out the expensive cheese.
Don’t say you’ve never thought about what it would be like to be me.
Just admit you have finally realized how much it would absolutely blow.
It’s amazing how the threat of something that never even seemed possible has completely changed the way I view those around me right now. Not as just an obscene amount of obtuse people, but a lot of obtuse people with power.
No amount of tears or quippy blog entires are going to prove what I and most people in my life already know.
I’m a myriad of adjectives non of which I would ever classify as negligent. But when you back me into a corner, you can’t act surprised when I start to work it.
That might be insensitive to those currently working corners at their own bidding and they are completely justified in doing so because here’s the kicker- it’s your life and baring some sort of relevant evidence to the facts you are presenting against me, you need to understand this is mine.
I’ll dress up, ill tone down my makeup I’ll act interested in your assemblies and fund raisers, I’ll wear something that covers the majority of my assets, but I won’t change the very fiber of who I am to make you believe what I already know and that is that my kids are my world.
They are the reason I waste away in a bigotry filled cesspool of people who would be appalled at the idea that I find most of what you subject your children to, to be abuse. They are why I’ve never cut ties and run to a life filled with what I desire.
They are pretty much the very reason I’ve given this place more than an eye roll and a middle finger and driven off into Sunset drive looking for something to fulfill me.
So I’ll do what you ask and I’ll smile and wave and escort my children to in from school like I’ve always done and I’ll turn down my music and fit into whatever mold you request to get you and your equally vacuous cohorts off my back.
But I won’t ever admit you were right and I won’t ever back down from being the mom I’ve always been to my children.
I’m not a perfect mom. But I’m perfectly willing to admit that I’m a good one.
Take this selfie as a token of my lack of appreciation.
Yours in filters. Ruth.
1. Do you know how comical I am finding this entire situation when you make the astute observation that the average IQ of someone in the state that I’m being persecuted for educational neglect on the part of my children is 15-25 points LOWER than any of their current standings and AVERAGE with where my learning disability diagnosed daughter Charity is currently operating? Take that in. Go on. I’ll wait.
2. No I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me or sit around while I bitch this out because until they tell me they were wrong and I’m right or at least say it’s cool we’re backing off, I’m going to get in someone’s face. Also I don’t really care about IQ’s and rankings I’m a good mom with fantastic CARING and observant children. I will take my gold medal and go sit down now. I was gonna say Imma but I am attempting to make a valid point.
3. On the plus side, (not a fat joke) I’ve showered and cleaned my entire house and recycled and gotten dressed adorably and done my hair before 3pm and will continue to do so until this storm blows over. Also I’ve braided and straightened my daughters’ hair for school EVERY morning just to prove that their hair doesn’t have any bearing on their behavior or grades.
4. Can we say police state anyone?
5. Sorry let’s talk about boobs or something. I really miss just being able to laugh at stupid gifs on the internet in my pajamas.
6. No but really when I was going around getting stuff notarized and printed this morning every single office I stopped at had someone being paid to do a service, bullshitting on Facebook while I was in need of something at their counter. And how is it I don’t have a job? I can surf Tumblr, breast feed a cat, roll my eyes at the internet AND talk to a human being all at the same time. Someone hire me.
Also I was totally kidding about that breast feeding a cat thing.
Let’s not get PETA involved.
Me. When people ask me why I hate them.
I promise this blog hasn’t turned into a Ruth is a terrible mother who warrants police intervention, but I wanted to just state for the record that reading the policies and procedures of your organization is typically something one should do BEFORE authorizing scary men with guns to surround the house of a woman alone with her 4 children.
Also that I appreciate all the messages and I am going to be fine, once I was done being appalled and sad, I started to get a little angry, because I understand that welfare of children is an important thing, I see people every day with far lower standards of raising a child and nobody is giving them any problems.
If you guys had any idea how much stuff I’ve managed to deal with the past few months without waving my white flag you might even offer me a virgin margarita. I say virgin because the last thing I need being held against me is that occasionally I imbibe in an adult beverage. How dare I.
So from here on out if super mom is what they want, THAT’s exactly what they are going to get. Might even make a pot roast tonight in a pair of heels and pearl necklace with my hair pinned back to adequately accentuate my double chins.
Thanks to those who support my lame blog and my rants. My kids are my first priority so until which time this is all deemed completely unnecessary, I am going to be a little scarce with the antics. (WHAT? No supernatural Re-blogs?)
I really just want to crawl into a hole and cry today.
Being a mom is the only thing I’ve ever been even okay at and having it questioned like it is right now makes me sick.
I want to opt out.
- After the day I had I feel like just running away from here but that’s not an option because the kids gots ta have that education.
- The idiot in charge of grilling me was like “you should know how important an education is for success!” Oh do I look fucking successful to you ass hat. These kids are my success and I take perfect care of them.
- No more on that it’s going to make me cry. fuck them for trying to make me feel less than adequate. I am so.
- I watched the Britney Spears Glee episodes today. All 2 of them. Not sorry. I love Britney and if she can keep her shit together with her millions, I can do it with my fives and ones.
- I always hated people who said they run in different circles than me. Beefcake I have run in all sorts of circles some of them for 26 miles so just get to know me. I’m awesome. The sight of my face and fat body fade after awhile and you just start to accept what I am inside. (mostly vodka and water).
- I was supposed to hit the concert of the year this weekend and now I am scared to leave my kids with anyone and risk being judged because heaven forbid a mom ever enjoy herself.
- All the shows I love have just sort of gone roller coaster at six flags manned by a 17 year old pothead crazy. I mean I get it we need to be fed must keep the people watching the glowing box but let’s just stop and think for a minute.
- I’m up past midnight so I better shut off all my lights and lay silently here just in case someone is watching me being a mediocre mom in the loneliness of my suburban military provided home.
Really should have bought myself some cheetos to facilitate this rock bottom I’m obviously hitting.