May 2013
“We found her body in the depressed position”. -my tombstone.
And then the clutch went out on my car and I quit everything because life is stupid and nothing matters if you need me ill be getting day drunk on my shitty rug since I sold most of my furniture.
Lol
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It’s Tuesday bitches.
I liked Tumblr intrinsically better when I didn’t have to imagine everyone and how they looked having sex.
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The D comes later.
1. I haven’t had a minute at all today to think until just now. I’ve been going since I woke up selling stuff to cheap ridiculous low balling buyers on the Internet, confirming I’m only slightly insane and not totally crazy to a nice dr and then cleaning out 4 bedrooms of shit for a yard sale. I’m only half way done but I’m one step closer to not being enlisted to...
I'm fixin ta do me.
Consider this an entry into my sad computer written book or online diary just a small list of things I like about me. Just in case I need to see it tomorrow.
1. My mom made me and she could never make something that wasn’t worth a second look at.
2. I can cook the shit out of food within my budget and price range. Burgers anyone?
3. I once made Steve Martin laugh. That’s gotta...
If downward spiraling alcoholic/mother of 4 with absolutely nothing to show for herself were a yoga position, consider me Yoga Certified.
Is it still clean eating if I use my tongue to...
1. My phone is still dead and I still hate myself for being a sack of life ruining crap. Whatever.
2. I spent the weekend outside at the lake riding boats and avoiding all mirrors while wearing a swim suit and then went for a hike today and now my face is sunburned and I’m going to be a Hermes leather bag by the time I’m 35. I’ve always wanted to be part of a designer...
That's what makes you beautiful.
Chalk it up to a bad weekend filled with rude people and another realization that I’m never going to fit anyone’s description of “beautiful” or maybe it’s just a hatred of the way words that evoke emotions based solely on appearance that are supposed to sum up an entire person based on what you see in a mirror.
Fuck the notion that people who don’t fit your...
I could probably get a job as hair dye because I...
1. I should be going out tonight with my friend for one last hoorah but I’m a failure who does nothing right so I pay the piper and use a credit card because that’s how I roll. Probably for the best since nothing fits me.
2. Stressed out spells TUO desserts backwards which means the terms of using me require you to supply me with dessert if you are going to stress me out.
3. Kim...
If I’ve learned anything from weight loss / fitblr blogs it’s that they are so busy losing weight they don’t have time to clean their living spaces.
I dropped 20 pounds today by throwing a kettle...
1. Sometimes the fat talk when you’ve likely never seen an elastic waist band requires more muscle tone in my eye rolling muscles and unfollow finger than i actually posses. sure we all hate ourselves but maybe focus on your armpits or chin pubes. Some of us are trying to actually be fat without hating ourselves, I know unpopular opinion. I didn’t get laid in high school so I’m...
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Shame my life isn't more like my blood pressure at...
1. After de-stressing and drinking more water and taking more Meds than I know what to do with- my doctor pronounced me the healthiest fat person with high blood pressure who will most likely have a stroke he’s ever treated. So that’s a good thing we’re going with good on that alrighty. Anyways if you want to borrow my cholesterol it’s amazing. If you want to borrow my...
misscook:
audreygolightly13:
It’s in sync...
Machete Don't text.
1. I feel you machete. Day 3 of no phone and I’ve only left my wifi connection for provisions and the occasional trip to the hospital where everyone looks at me like the overweight useless sack of shit that I am. Getting real sick of your crap earthlings.
2. I hate being sedentary by orders. On my own I’m fine sitting on my butt not eating for 1-19 hours. I just have to make it...
And once you asked me well what’s my biggest...
