March 2010
6 just asked 8 if he knew where babies came from.
I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the conversation that I just knew was coming.
Before I could exhale, she turned back to him and said:
“because wherever it is. I do NOT want to go there”
Phew.
Smart and funny.
They come from good stock.
And by good stock I mean they have their fathers genes.
I should probably...
February 2010
Here's an animal who needs a Twitter account.... →
timbalanced-deactivated20110419 asked: The game is tied between two rival teams and there's three seconds left on the clock. A riot is about to break out. The fans have never been this tense! History is about to be made!! What color are your shoes?
Anonymous asked: Nice Hat! How did you become so Gangsta?
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that for all the love I give to you people in the form of adorable children, and copious amounts of photos of my face looking oh so debonair, not one of you took it upon yourselves to put anything in my ask box. (see what I did there.) I didn’t say ask hole, because that is childish, and juvenile, and the exact way that I’m known to behave,...
*Not* posting photos of my boobs because.
Oh. I don’t HAVE any.
But totally taking notes for when I get that boob job I was promised if I stayed married.
HAHA.
Just kidding.
I’d never stay married for a boob job.
(I told him I’d need a tummy tuck too.)
BURN.
I’d like to gather us all around the fire and sing Kumbaya.
But I can’t sing.
And I’m not allowed to start fires due to my inability to stop them; and my cooking.
And I don’t know the words to Kumbaya.
But what I’m really trying to say is.
I’m eating CHEESE FRIES. WOOO.
No really.
I’m sorry that internet friends are suffering.
And hurting.
That...
Throw back thursday. →
One year ago.
This was pretty much how my days went.
They still do.
At least now I have people to share it with…
Today on tumblr has just solidified that which i’ve known for years.
I would never have been a successful roller coaster because I am always out of the loop.
1 tag
I was just invited to go to an all expense paid event in Florida for the weekend of April 9-11 by some family members.
You want to know what I said?
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MY RESPONSE?
I told them I was already busy and I had plans with the internet to meet people I’ve never actually seen in real life, and to perhaps go with them to a place where we’d likely all end up drinking and...
1 tag
I've
just signed up all 4 of my children for soccer.
Someone get me a mini-van so I can officially be the woman I swore 10 years ago I would never become…
At least I’ll be a soccer mom to cute kids.
If you measure lame,
by the size of the indentions your ass leaves on the couch as you watch your 10th consecutive Lifetime Movie.
I’m 3inches of indentions lame at 2am on a Sunday night.
And Ruth Akers of USA takes the Gold.
More Velveeta cheese cubes?
Don’t mind if I do.
Firefly
redcloud:
I love this show. I love this show because these people are family for each other, whether they call it that or not. And because, despite having hundreds of friends around the world that I love dearly—and that love me—still, here I am, alone.
Don’t watch Firefly.
But I get the alone.
Boy.
Do I ‘get’ the alone.
1 tag
my tongue is longer than yours.
If this were a Chicago tweet-up, your tweets would all say “Drinking on a Ruth”.
HAHA.
LOL/jk
I’m kidding.
Or am I??
I’ve been sitting in an airport essentially for 2 days.
I smell like a dung beetle covered in nice perfume, my hair is greasier than Kirstie Alley’s fingertips after lunch, and my food has consisted of nothing more than Manchu wok, and the muffins from the little cart at the stand next to where I’ve set up my hobo hut and have attempted to camp out for this time of great...
genstarrinn-deactivated20111208 asked: What are you going to school for?
dresspants asked: What happens if you don't get your homework done???!
tiffanyjmoore-deactivated201303 asked: One material object/possession you can't live without?
Anonymous asked: Twitter/tumblr is all about the funny and exaggeration. That's why I keep coming back. But between pictures of black eyes and tumbling about loneliness, what right do I, Internet stranger, have to worry about you?
iamnotdiddy asked: You walk into Fred Meyer and see the Quaker Oats guy and the Creme of Wheat guy in a fight. You are forced to make a bet on who will win. Who do you bet on? Why?
P.S. - The odds are 3:2 in favor of the Creme of Wheat guy.
P.S. - The odds are 3:2 in favor of the Creme of Wheat guy.
timbalanced-deactivated20110419 asked: If Sarah is 5'6", weighs 140 lbs. and is on her way to Vegas for a bachelorette party, how much grain alcohol would Sarah have to consume in a four hour period to have sex with Carrot Top?
Because I don't want to do homework.
http://ruthakers.tumblr.com/ask
And if you read the fine print, you’ll
Notice they’ve dubbed it “Show Girl”
Warms the heart.
Truly.
This...
Your fingertips across my skin The palm trees swaying in the wind Images You sang me Spanish lullabies The sweetest sadness in your eyes Clever trick
Well, I never want to see you unhappy I thought you’d want the same for me
[Chorus] Goodbye, my almost lover Goodbye, my hopeless dream I’m trying not to think about you Can’t you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance My...
1 tag
I just bought my tickets for Bonnaroo
HUZZAH!!!!
Those of you who know how much I effing love live music will kindly dance in a circle with me while I celebrate.
On an entirely related note:
Who wants to come watch my kids?
1 tag
formspring.me
how many states have you been to?
As of last year, and my venture to the state of Nebraska, I have been to 37. My father was Air Force. I was AIr Force, and My husband, Army.
I’ve lived in 20. Which speaks volumes as to why I am so cultured*
*unable to stay in one place for too long.
Who takes those awesome pictures you frequently post? Plus, I showed my...
