December 2011
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Am I the only one-
who thinks that every person who wants to know if you ever want to talk when you are going through something, really just wants to know the “tails”? (P&R People, look it up).
The only cynic who can’t help but wonder if people just want to get closer to you when you’re falling apart, so they can take a picture, tag you on Facebook, AND blog about it later?
The only...
November 2011
We made a decision today.
A very hard decision.
It involves me leaving for a bit to figure out if I’m capable of making it on my own.
Capable of taking care of myself.
Capable of one day being able to take care of my kids.
Capable of being something besides a mediocre mom to my amazing kids.
Truth be told- I’ve never been this scared in my entire life…
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My mom could have lost 10% in 4 by ditching one of...
I’ll try and do it the hard way. I have to lose 16 pounds in 4 months. Should be a piece of cake. Or Pie. Or cheesecake. Or a ice cream cake. I love Ramen Noodles. RAmen Noodles baked into a Cheese Cake. Dude. This is going to be so easy.
I wrote a check to Charity’s school for lunch today and on the signature line I wrote “this is a check” that’s how this week is...
and all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a house...
I wanted so deeply to post Whistle While You Twurk as my song for today, but Mia kept insisting I use Young Folks because Young Folks caused her to want to do her booty moves, but she’s 4, and shouldn’t have booty moves so I guess I did that to my kid. I did that.
My Truthful Tuesday tomorrow is going to be very Truthful. But I’m going to write about it because I don’t...
The summer of 2008- I found myself in a Vegas...
wandering it with a group of friends in the midsts of a Professional Poker tournament and a few celebs which consisted of the fabulous Megan Fox, Larry Flynt, and as we were walking, the ever hilarious Will Ferrell.
One of the males in our party was a huge Will Ferrell fan and being somewhat intoxicated felt the need to make it known as we passed: “Hey Will!, I’m a HUGE FAN”...
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I'm not ready to write about it.
Because some things I’m just too ashamed of.
But I’m ready to come to terms with the fact that I need to drastically change some stuff
And I’m doing that.
My children deserve that.
I deserve that.
See that’s the first part of coming to terms.
I deserve things.
That I didn’t think I did.
So instead of just drowning myself in vodka when things don’t go...
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I am a selfish human being
and I just need to apologize right here to my children for what I put them through last night and to say that they will never have to go through anything like that again as long as I am their mother they have my word on that.
I am so very, very sorry.
My posts about kids-
get FAR more love than my posts about my titty meat.
I love the internet.
So hard.
Things I regret. Or things I think about while...
Not wearing a bikini when I left basic training at 117 pounds because I thought I was still fat.
Not wearing sunscreen when I was 12-25 because I thought I needed to be tan.
Doing what I thought I had to, not what I wanted to because I didn’t want to disappoint someone.
Sending a text message that got read by the wrong person and ruining their relationship.
Gaining 85 pounds when I...
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That thing-
Where you leave for 2 hours without the internet and miss everything! I love this cool little place where happy things happen to nice people. How cool is the internet?
Where the cashier at Walmart tells you that you are starting to look good like you’re losing weight and he asks you how you’ve been since the last time he saw you at the club and you have no idea who he is because...
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Because I am a loser with nobody to talk to- I...
What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole… wheel of cheese? How’d you do that? Heck, I’m not even mad; that’s amazing. How ‘bout we get you in your p.j.’s and we hit the hay.
You sit on a throne of lies!
I’m so scared right now. I’m just gonna to do what’s sensible, I’m gonna file for unemployment. Then I’m...
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Perhaps I've said too Munch....
It occurred to me last night that I don’t write what I really want and think all the time on here because of the people I know who read it. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.
I was raised Mormon and even though I stopped going to church or even identifying with religious affiliation, I never took my name off the church records. Part of me doesn’t want to disappoint my...
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Truthful Tuesday Ashtonless is Demi Moore edition....
I’ve seen like 4 actors in the past week talk about their push presents. What the fuck is a push present? When I pushed out 4 kids my only present was not pooping on the table. Push present based on the novel “Why is this a thing?” I need to read less tabloid fodder and read more nutritional content levels of the food I put in my mouth.
My Facebook got hacked yesterday and I...
Our situation is a tight one Whatcha gonna do,...
I don’t even know Bone Thugs. Maybe try fight running? That sounds like something I’d be good at.
I used to have a sticker in high school on my car that said “When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping” OH RIGHT 16 YEAR OLD RUTH. When the going gets tough that’s a great idea. Buy more shit.
My kids are home for the entire week. Not just Thanksgiving...
Christmas Shoes just came on the radio
Now I have to buy a new car:(
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How you doin' - just a pleasantry. I don't really...
I didn’t have time to take a Mariah Photo today and I am genuinely upset about it. There is something wrong with me.
Will & Grace isn’t on Netflix. This is my greatest trial. I am the 99%.
Elliot Stabler is such a badass. He would never resort to pepper spray. Just make sarcastic comments, throw you up against a wall and then flex his tattooed forearm.
I am really glad I am...
