August 2011
"The more you NO!" - (me, talking to drugs).
I wanted answers today and all I got was further confirmation that my kids are tolerable for up to 6 hours in the car. We spent 8.
“Have you guys been waiting long?” - ”Only 2 hours. Don’t worry. We’re FINE”. (Mia, to the nurse in the waiting room today. Passive Aggressive apparently comes standard with my womb.
I appreciate the notes, hearts, messages,...
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Truthful Tuesday honestly I'm in a waiting...
• Someone left me a really nice not at all anonymous message last night referring to my drug and alcohol abuse as the reason my daughter was delayed. I would have posted it and rebuttaled the shit out their case but they called my daughter a horrible name and I refuse to have that garbage on my blog.
• I do worry that I did something to cause her to be the way she is, but it has nothing to do...
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For what it's worth-
I don’t have to “make up the shit my kids say” because they actually say it.
If I wanted to make stuff up, I’d at least try and make it a hell of a lot funnier.
Or use bigger words.
Things I love Sunday:
That my kid recognized Miley Cyrus and said “I thought this was the Music Awards? What’s she doing there?”
That my kids are awesome and sarcastic.
That there are still “artists” in music. You usually just have to find them yourself.
Britney Spears.
That despite all her money, Even Lady Gaga looks God awful without make-up on.
Britney Spears. Did I say...
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THERE YOU ARE PETER.
I was just reminded why I turned off Anonymous messages.
To really answer the question, they visited one time, and it was because the aforementioned “friend” called them on me. Only CPS has better things to do like take care of kids that are actually being abused, and or neglected. It was documented in the Ruth archives, anonymous, if you’d like to go read about it.
...
Anonymous asked: How often does Child Protective Services visit your house?
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I saw a raccoon tonight.
laying in the road, trying to get out of there.
He was desperate for someone to help him.
He had already been hit.
I wanted to stop and put him in my car.
But I also value my eyes and my non rabies status.
I cried.
And then i remembered “The circle of life”
Fuck you Mufasa.
(I hope you come back as something awesome little raccoon, like a phoenix).
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OH HAI EVERYONE WHO DIDN'T LEAVE
after seeing my bosoms slightly exposed on the internet.
some notes:
I love you all. you make me feel good about myself and I appreciate that.
I would love to be the weapon of choice in a zombie apocalypse.
I’m trying to find a babysitter for my kids and the website wants me to pay $30 for access to babysitters who in turn I will have to pay dollars to. I don’t like where this is...
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Anonymous asked: How did you get so fine? Those legs!
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Things in which make me liketh life in general as...
got beeped at today when I was pulled over on the side of the road puking 6 bottles of water out of my mouth hole which in perfect Ruth fashion caused me to wave as I continued to puke because I’m anything if not awesome and never rude. Hoped you liked the view of my ass you got with puke cascading between my legs Mr. F-150. F-150 You.
I already mentioned her being intelligent, it but I...
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el oh el jay kay
I was doing plyometric jumping work outs today when the earthquake hit. I think there’s a joke in there somewhere. A sad sad I hate myself and everything I’ve come to represent naked joke. (I hope everyone is okay).
One week until Dave Matthews appears on a magnificent stage before my face and I still haven’t figured out how to meet him. I’ve narrowed it down to...
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I like it when you call me big PAW PAW.
(That’s the southern version sung by “Notorious we live in the south so we’re naturally BIG”
I found out today that I am entitled to a great deal of money for being a sad college student with lots of kids, and I’m going to use it to get a tummy tuck, boob job, and see Paris. You heard it here folks.
My favorite movie of all times is Overnight Delivery. It stars one...
NICE WORK WITH THE SECRETS GANG.
I felt bad because some of you mentioned not being able to text me, so I opened up anonymous questions if anyone wants to share one.
I realize I could just go to post secret, but this is way more personal and fun.
And besides, don’t you want to hear some more of my secrets???!
Yes. The answer is yes.
Thanks for keeping your word on the NO PEEN!
Good work team!
I'll keep you my dirty little secret.
I have got to stop letting shit that doesn’t matter get to me. I am enrolling myself in shit that doesn’t matter university and I am not leaving until I’ve graduated from all of the classes they offer I hope they offer lots, and maybe join a sorority and meet other nice girls interested in keg stands and shit that doesn’t matter.
I’ve made a bunch of stuff for my...
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You're a virgin, who can't drive.
I’m actually both of these.
Let me tell you how a 29 year old woman almost kills 3 people with a runaway Prius.
See.
The Prius, doesn’t use a key to start it, it’s just this cool button, you push and then when you want to drive you move this cool little gizmo, you’re off, like all my friends’ Prom dresses, I never took mine off it took 4 people to get it on me...
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