March 2012
February 2012
The only thing worse than a Katy Perry song, is a...
“Top down screaming out Money ain’t a thang”, goes over a lot better when you’re still 16, and your car doesn’t have 3 little girls and 2 booster seats inside of it. Don’t think that stopped me from yelling it anyways all day today.
I don’t need a man to take me to pleasure town, but it would be nice if one could get me like within walking distance....
I see you still look like a 14 year old girl only...
I figured out why adults don’t turn their pimples into moles. It’s because 4 year old children that you gave birth to, yell in the dentists waiting room “Why did you make your pimples look like moles!?”
I had to write a check for the dentist so I had proof of payment for my insurance reimbursement and I haven’t written a check since X-tina stopped showing off her...
TT What to expect when you're not expecting...
I hate crying. It makes my face swollen, more swollen than its usual fatness, and nobody is worth tears. Really. Nobody.
“No man is worth your tears, and the one who is will never make you cry.” Awh. Cute quote sweetheart, call me when you reach puberty and experience the real world.
I read in a Teen magazine in high school this trick about turning your pimples into moles, and...
Eventually there will be dinosaurs, on your...
I got the notification from a job today that they reviewed my application, and I was found “Not qualified” for the position. The job was a cashier at a convenient store.
I am however qualified to work at the auto parts store, unlike the man behind the counter who tried for 25 minutes to tell me the part I needed for a transmission was not the right part, because he knew nothing...
Johnny Cashew, nut your average one hit wonder.
That title has nothing to do with what I have to say. Disregard.
I’m in a very cynical mood, and everything these wretched creatures say on Nick Jr, has me doing my best to keep my trap shut. “Do you know what little b is showing big B behind this bush?” Probably his genitals. Next question, Nick Jr.
I blame this mood on using my entire weekend to create my dumb portfolio...
Do you have any idea how pfast you were going?
I took a break tonight from crying over my homework to go and treat yo’ (my) self, to a diet coke with no ice. It is the one service I provide myself when I am depressed.
I drove the 14 miles to the drive thru where on the way I almost hit a deer. After slamming on my brakes, stalling out, and yelling “This is why all your friends are on the side of the road!!” I continued my...
1 tag
I hate Web Design: A poem in 3 parts, written by...
I
hate
Web Design.
Thank you
Apparently it's take your kids to work and leave...
I’m at a car dealer waiting to pick up my car, (did I mention the new car I’m getting 100 times) and the playground is filled with feral children who’s parents work here? Is that a thing? Are you allowed to bring your kid to work with you while you do your 8 hours because I would have 7 jobs right now and free childcare.
Which reminds me when I worked at Burger King in high...
I watched Beaches tonight-
and there’s a line in the movie where Hilary tells Cici “It’s obvious, we’ve grown apart” and Cici says- “We haven’t grown apart, YOU’VE fallen apart.”
It’s probably my favorite line in a movie that describes almost every friend I’ve ever had.
“You took your friendship away without even discussing it with me. So, thank you...
I got that bitch a blog, bitches love blogs. Or...
Tried to eat what I thought was a peanut M&M while cleaning out my car, only to discover it was a plastic bead from Aubree’s homemade jewelry set. Not Proud.
Didn’t buy a bag of M&M’s because now I wanted them. Proud.
Sent my application to several blog networks to start maybe actually blogging from my actual website and one day getting something out of all the people...
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can...”
– Marilyn Monroe (via vodkaandvicodin)
I love this quote, and I am absolutely no Marilyn Monroe, but sometimes I think things fall apart because we’re human. And human beings do shitty things to other people when we’re being selfish. If nothing better falls together, oh well. Don’t...
Goodnight Moon Pies
All These Mardi Gras posts are bringing me back to high school when I went to school in Mississippi. We would eat King Cakes and a few girls found babies in their stomachs our senior year.
I applied for 3 jobs today. I am so proud of myself. Until you realize the jobs I applied for were manager of a bowling alley, kitten holder at the local vets office, and Assistant Manager to a local Soldier...
1 tag
Deja Room with a View.
I don’t have much left to say that hasn’t been said about the weekend. It was a seriously good time, and I will never look at salsa the same again.
People on Facebook and Pinterest keep talking about the 4 hour body, and I’m really disappointed to learn that it’s not the 4 hour body my friend got where she paid $11,000 and woke up 4 hours later with a tight stomach and...
Thank you Africa-
I’d like to thank the people who have been there for me when I needed them the most.
I’d like to thank the man at the airport who told me I left my sunglasses in the TSA bin, even though I looked better without them.
I’d like to thank my kids for being funny, and making the daily monotony of being a mother, not only bearable, but worth it.
I’d like to thank the people...
2 tags
I've been driving to the airport since midnight
A weird man asked me if I had any change for gas money and I gave him 4$. He actually bought gas with it.
Weird.
I had to change my clothes in my car at the parking lot and the bus driver saw my boob meat.
I have 4 hours until my flight leaves but I’m scared if I fall asleep they won’t wake me up and I’ll be forced to work at Manchu Wok until I retire.
The girl next to...
