sarc.

I am a 30 year old mother with 4 successful, yet equally disgusting vaginal births to my credentials, and despite giving birth in my teens I neglected to sell my baby, I mean story, to MTV. I use to have all 10 episodes of Friends on DVD but I just sold them in a relatively successful eBay auction and offered free shipping which tells you a lot about my personal belief system. I look really good photoshopped and in the dark and my kids say my best quality is when I am not around. I volunteer my spare time on Social Media Studies where I study the reactions of what people think of all the dumb things I have to say. I am not a vegan but I am friends with a girl who has a tomato plant and I always slow down so my kids can say "LOOK! A COW!" when we drive past a large open field. I enjoy long walks from my couch to the fridge, spending time pretending I don't have a family and reading the classics. The classics is what I call Teen Vogue. I am almost graduated from online college and when I finish I would like to forget that I owe $15,000 in student loans and head down that weird patch of dead grass behind the mall and wait to apply for a job with the traveling carnival. I am a photographer in my spare time, which just means I bought an expensive SLR camera once and forced my friends to pose while I took their pictures, and I've also traveled the world. (it's just America). If I win I am going to do whatever I can to put hurricane machines in the cafeteria, and have Taco Bell catered in at lunch time.

—

Sheryl Crow

Strong Enough


When I’ve shown you

That I just don’t care
When I’m throwing punches in the air
When I’m broken down and I can’t stand

Would you be man enough to be my man?

  1. sparkgrrl658 said: i have this cassette tape in my car and when my car wasn’t broken i’d drive around screaming along to it when i felt really, really bad and it helped.
  2. themisscook said: I love this song and DAMN IT, ROOTH!!
  3. roothakers posted this