sarc.

I am a 30 year old mother with 4 successful, yet equally disgusting vaginal births to my credentials, and despite giving birth in my teens I neglected to sell my baby, I mean story, to MTV. I use to have all 10 episodes of Friends on DVD but I just sold them in a relatively successful eBay auction and offered free shipping which tells you a lot about my personal belief system. I look really good photoshopped and in the dark and my kids say my best quality is when I am not around. I volunteer my spare time on Social Media Studies where I study the reactions of what people think of all the dumb things I have to say. I am not a vegan but I am friends with a girl who has a tomato plant and I always slow down so my kids can say "LOOK! A COW!" when we drive past a large open field. I enjoy long walks from my couch to the fridge, spending time pretending I don't have a family and reading the classics. The classics is what I call Teen Vogue. I am almost graduated from online college and when I finish I would like to forget that I owe $15,000 in student loans and head down that weird patch of dead grass behind the mall and wait to apply for a job with the traveling carnival. I am a photographer in my spare time, which just means I bought an expensive SLR camera once and forced my friends to pose while I took their pictures, and I've also traveled the world. (it's just America). If I win I am going to do whatever I can to put hurricane machines in the cafeteria, and have Taco Bell catered in at lunch time.

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6th Jan 2013 | 90 notes

Dirty mirrors, smudged lines drawn between child and adulthood.
Fingerprints that morph from youthful playfulness into evidence that can be used against you in a court of law.
Playing doctor transitions into not being able to afford one.
College fun becomes college funds.
Small glimpses of who I used to be peak into who I need to be to ensure that above all else- my kids become nothing like me.
And everything likable.
Late nights become early realizations.
I am all they have.
I.
Am all.
They have.
Business Casual Sex turned into 13 years later.

Dirty mirrors, smudged lines drawn between child and adulthood.

Fingerprints that morph from youthful playfulness into evidence that can be used against you in a court of law.

Playing doctor transitions into not being able to afford one.

College fun becomes college funds.

Small glimpses of who I used to be peak into who I need to be to ensure that above all else- my kids become nothing like me.

And everything likable.

Late nights become early realizations.

I am all they have.

I.

Am all.

They have.

Business Casual Sex turned into 13 years later.